[audio] Stripper Failing School She's Working Herself Through

• Stripper Failing School She's Working Herself Through

  20670 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20670/03-144_Stripper_Failing_W.mp3 stripper-failing-school-shes-working-herself-throu

• Circus Runaway Not Looking Forward To Hometown Show

  20669 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20669/03-143_Circus_Runaway_T.mp3 circus-runaway-not-looking-forward-to-hometown-sho

• Bird Has Big Plans For New Cage

  20668 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20668/03-140_Bird_Has_Big_Plans_M.mp3 bird-has-big-plans-for-new-cage

• Compliment Goes Horribly Awry

  20653 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20653/03-137%20Compliment%20Goes_Awry%20_F.mp3 compliment-goes-horribly-awry

• Rich First-Grader Buys Whole Sheet Of Gold Stars

  20652 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20652/03-135_Rich_1st_Grader_TH.mp3 rich-firstgrader-buys-whole-sheet-of-gold-stars

• 8-Year-Old Forced To Eat Organic Macaroni And Cheese

  20643 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20643/organic.mp3 8yearold-forced-to-eat-organic-macaroni-and-cheese

• Dysfunctional Singles Find Each Other

  20637 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20637/03-131_Dysfunctional_Singles_W.mp3 dysfunctional-singles-find-each-other

• Fisherman's 4-Year-Old Son Liberates Bait

  20624 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20624/03-128_Son_Liberates_Bait_M.mp3 fishermans-4yearold-son-liberates-bait

• U.S. Dentists Can't Make Nation's Teeth Any Damn Whiter

  20524 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20524/03-127_Cant_Make_Teeth_Any_Whiter_F.mp3 us-dentists-cant-make-nations-teeth-any-damn-white

• Family Deeply Embarrassed by Way Son Died

  20523 http://o.onionstatic.com/audio/articles/article/20523/03-124_Embarrassed_By_Way_Son_Died_Th.mp3 family-deeply-embarrassed-by-way-son-died

• • Your Cousin Says Prison Food 'Not So Bad'

  • The U.S. Justice System Will Be Replaced By A New Prison Lottery

  • Smoking Ban Collapses Fragile Prison Economy

  • Prison Warden Appears On Leno With Some Of His Favorite Prisoners

  • Your Cousin Says Prison Food Not So Bad

  • Prison Tattoo Artist Says It's A Swastika Or Nothing

• • Veteran Who Stormed Beach At Normandy Still Getting Laid Because Of It

  • NORAD Headquarters Crawling With Missile Weevils

  • Officer Passed Over For General Still Asked To Contribute Battle Plans

  • U.S. Troops Fortified With Hot, Nutritious Breakfast

  • Google Steps In To Help U.S. With Google Navy

  • Coalition: Vast Majority Of Iraqis Still Alive

  • Marine Never Knew What Freedom Was Until He Left The Marines

• • Pirate Written Up For Dress-Code Violation

  • Calvin Klein To Build Runway Control Tower After Tragic Five-Model Pileup

  • New Denim Jacket Bolsters Consumer Self-Confidence

  • Small Fluffy Dog To Head House Of Versace

  • Visible Panty Line Discussed Like It's Cancer

  • Miss Universe Spends Awkward Elevator Ride With Miss Alternate Universe

  • Man Forced To Witness Own $10 Haircut

• • Phil's Party Reminds Area Man Why He Doesn't Go To Phil's Parties

  • Man Born To Party Dies Partying

  • Area Man Got His Tattoos While Serving In College

  • Nation's Deans Meet To Discuss Problem Of Sexy College Girls Going Wild

  • Fraternity Brother Forced To Find Asshole Friends In Real World

  • Everyone On Campus Afraid Of That One Bar

  • No One Stabbed Or Anything At Off-Campus Party

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Source: http://www.theonion.com/audio/stripper-failing-school-shes-working-herself-throu,20670/

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